WARNING TO SELF and to those who hold me close:
Today I had a conversation with God and told Him I am Ready and Willing:
-willing to be uncomfortable
-willing to be messed up
-willing to change
-willing to give so that I can be filled up with Him
-willing for change
-willing to be ALIVE in Him as I trust Him through whatever this journey may be
-willing to grow
-willing to be uncomfortable
This is NOT an easy prayer...
-when my minds wanders to all the "what if's"
-what if God chooses to teach me through this scenario and that scenario
...I refuse to list these b/c they are out of fear!
This IS an easy prayer...
-when I reflect on how complacency is boring and no one benefits from it
-when I reflect on how ALIVE I have felt in some of my most unselfish and obedient decisions
-when I reflect on paths untaken that lead to righteousness...not self-righteousness
-when I reflect on how I want my every move, word, thought to be reflective of Him
-when I reflect on the hurt in the world...the world around me and the world far away from me
...and realize I have so much more to give than I am presently
-when I reflect on what kind of legacy I want to leave...one that was LIKE HIM
I have no idea what God is preparing me for...but I'm Ready and Willing!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Simplicity
SIMPLICITY
It never fails to amaze me how when God is trying to teach me something, He presents that lesson in various avenues of my life all simultaneously.
I'm reading two books right now....yes, STOP THE PRESS, I'm actually reading! They are 7 and When Helping Hurts. Thanks to a lovely spot under a towering tree with green all around me (mostly from overgrown weeds that I think are beautiful just because they're green) and the babbling creek below (which has been known to have snakes) and the birds singing and chirping (yelping for all I know)...again I love every sight and sound of nature...I have come to love reading during my moments of quiet...and God has provided quite a few this wonderful week.
Anyway, in very brief and crude terms, I'm trying to learn how to best help those in poverty (and praying for new passion and purpose for my job) while considering going through the process of 7 to simplify my own life...to make myself uncomfortable enough to rely on and hear more from God. That's what it takes, right? Emptying myself of something that has a grip so that I get a grip and grip better to Him?!
That is what I'm doing in my quiet time.
In my chaos time,
my time at work,
when I run from one student to the next,
testing and sharing results,
trying to decipher what each student needs and how I can meet that need,
I ended the day with a student we'll call "Roy",
and he needed help with essay writing as the GED quickly approaches,
so I gave him a quick topic..."what causes stress in society today?",
and he wrote about it so that I could assess his writing,
and give advice for how he could improve...
(take breath here....do you think the above was a run-on? well, I don't, so that's all that matters : )
I hurried through reading and correcting and explaining and then slowed down to hear him and his heart. You see, Roy is not a materially wealthy person (at least from a bystander's point-of-view). He walks an hour to class and enjoys the walk on nice-weathered days. Sometimes he gets picked up by friends and he enjoys the conversations he has on the way. He patiently waits for someone to pick him up after class and take him to work or home. He used to have very long hair, eyebrows, mustache and beard (and let me tell you, they were all four LONG). He recently got them all trimmed...it's fun to see a little more of his face. He's one of the most gentle, laid-back spirits I've met in my time teaching adults. But he isn't lazy. He works hard...at his job and at school. Here's what struck me from our conversation though...
Would you believe that he said, "I had to make this essay up because I don't have stress in my life!"
Now that's an odd and unheard statement from an American!
But I believe it's true for him.
He doesn't let anyone or anything get to him. He figures that if it'll cause stress, he should just leave it alone.
So what he chose to "guess" causes stress, and even made up a story about a "friend" who experienced it this way, was money and looks. People spend all their time wanting things, having to make the money to have those things, wanting to look GOOD, and having to make money to look GOOD, and they end up stressed. He would have liked for the essay to be about that long. He could have said it all in a sentence. But I wouldn't let him, poor guy!
What did I take from that? Exactly what I had read about in both books the day before. Does Roy need a monetary gift from me, or even a car if I had an extra one to spare? Sure, he could probably use both, but that is not how I could best help him. I am trying to help him get a GED so that he can become an engineer and help his co-workers and himself come up with better strategies for the things they already do...that's his dream anyway. That seems like better help than anything. Roy happens to be an easy person to work with so my next point is moot, with him, but still a point. The chapter I had just read said there are three ways to help those in "poverty" and they are relief work (emergency...the bandaid), rehabilitation (restoration...after the bleeding has stopped), and development (working WITH the people, not to people or for people). By the way, I got that explanation from pages 99-100, which are possibly the best pages of When Helping Hurts! It's way easier for the church (and middle-to-upper-class people in general) to do the relief work...the changeover of money from the bank to an organization or person needing relief or the temporary trip to do physical labor after a monstrosity...but the WITH the people is long and dirty and let's face it, HARD.
I'm so very grateful that God has placed me in a job where I GET to walk WITH people. It's not easy because I bring my crud and they bring their crud and then we try to set all the crud aside to work toward what may change the crud in the future if we just learn this "thing"...
(okay, I clearly used the word crud too many times, but I made a wonderful point!)
so their "thing" is usually something to do with math or language or science or social studies
and my "thing" is usually
how to not judge
or how to love better
or how to rely on God more
or how to encourage someone who just isn't getting it
or how to be thankful for what I do understand
or how to apply what I'm seeing with this student to my kids
or how to live differently
Get the picture? I'm learning a lot! Maybe I'm really the student. A student under the best teacher ever...God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit...who speaks through books and nature and my students. I'm excited to see where this lesson goes...
BECAUSE IT'S JUST BEGUN!
*the hope and dream and goal is that I actually come back to this site with my "notes from the lesson"
It never fails to amaze me how when God is trying to teach me something, He presents that lesson in various avenues of my life all simultaneously.
I'm reading two books right now....yes, STOP THE PRESS, I'm actually reading! They are 7 and When Helping Hurts. Thanks to a lovely spot under a towering tree with green all around me (mostly from overgrown weeds that I think are beautiful just because they're green) and the babbling creek below (which has been known to have snakes) and the birds singing and chirping (yelping for all I know)...again I love every sight and sound of nature...I have come to love reading during my moments of quiet...and God has provided quite a few this wonderful week.
Anyway, in very brief and crude terms, I'm trying to learn how to best help those in poverty (and praying for new passion and purpose for my job) while considering going through the process of 7 to simplify my own life...to make myself uncomfortable enough to rely on and hear more from God. That's what it takes, right? Emptying myself of something that has a grip so that I get a grip and grip better to Him?!
That is what I'm doing in my quiet time.
In my chaos time,
my time at work,
when I run from one student to the next,
testing and sharing results,
trying to decipher what each student needs and how I can meet that need,
I ended the day with a student we'll call "Roy",
and he needed help with essay writing as the GED quickly approaches,
so I gave him a quick topic..."what causes stress in society today?",
and he wrote about it so that I could assess his writing,
and give advice for how he could improve...
(take breath here....do you think the above was a run-on? well, I don't, so that's all that matters : )
I hurried through reading and correcting and explaining and then slowed down to hear him and his heart. You see, Roy is not a materially wealthy person (at least from a bystander's point-of-view). He walks an hour to class and enjoys the walk on nice-weathered days. Sometimes he gets picked up by friends and he enjoys the conversations he has on the way. He patiently waits for someone to pick him up after class and take him to work or home. He used to have very long hair, eyebrows, mustache and beard (and let me tell you, they were all four LONG). He recently got them all trimmed...it's fun to see a little more of his face. He's one of the most gentle, laid-back spirits I've met in my time teaching adults. But he isn't lazy. He works hard...at his job and at school. Here's what struck me from our conversation though...
Would you believe that he said, "I had to make this essay up because I don't have stress in my life!"
Now that's an odd and unheard statement from an American!
But I believe it's true for him.
He doesn't let anyone or anything get to him. He figures that if it'll cause stress, he should just leave it alone.
So what he chose to "guess" causes stress, and even made up a story about a "friend" who experienced it this way, was money and looks. People spend all their time wanting things, having to make the money to have those things, wanting to look GOOD, and having to make money to look GOOD, and they end up stressed. He would have liked for the essay to be about that long. He could have said it all in a sentence. But I wouldn't let him, poor guy!
What did I take from that? Exactly what I had read about in both books the day before. Does Roy need a monetary gift from me, or even a car if I had an extra one to spare? Sure, he could probably use both, but that is not how I could best help him. I am trying to help him get a GED so that he can become an engineer and help his co-workers and himself come up with better strategies for the things they already do...that's his dream anyway. That seems like better help than anything. Roy happens to be an easy person to work with so my next point is moot, with him, but still a point. The chapter I had just read said there are three ways to help those in "poverty" and they are relief work (emergency...the bandaid), rehabilitation (restoration...after the bleeding has stopped), and development (working WITH the people, not to people or for people). By the way, I got that explanation from pages 99-100, which are possibly the best pages of When Helping Hurts! It's way easier for the church (and middle-to-upper-class people in general) to do the relief work...the changeover of money from the bank to an organization or person needing relief or the temporary trip to do physical labor after a monstrosity...but the WITH the people is long and dirty and let's face it, HARD.
I'm so very grateful that God has placed me in a job where I GET to walk WITH people. It's not easy because I bring my crud and they bring their crud and then we try to set all the crud aside to work toward what may change the crud in the future if we just learn this "thing"...
(okay, I clearly used the word crud too many times, but I made a wonderful point!)
so their "thing" is usually something to do with math or language or science or social studies
and my "thing" is usually
how to not judge
or how to love better
or how to rely on God more
or how to encourage someone who just isn't getting it
or how to be thankful for what I do understand
or how to apply what I'm seeing with this student to my kids
or how to live differently
Get the picture? I'm learning a lot! Maybe I'm really the student. A student under the best teacher ever...God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit...who speaks through books and nature and my students. I'm excited to see where this lesson goes...
BECAUSE IT'S JUST BEGUN!
*the hope and dream and goal is that I actually come back to this site with my "notes from the lesson"
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