Fog
It's foggy on the outside.
Fog delays have gifted us with extra sleep two days in a row.
Fog today as well, but no delay.
Driving in the fog today, it became clear that this is what I'm experiencing...FOG.
Fast
I began a fast right before the fog.
No coffee (only water) or sugar of any kind for this month.
Now I'm foggy on the inside as well.
Headaches, trouble staying awake, a little edgy, scattered, whole body aches, not alive and well.
Yet, I should be!
I am alive and well in Christ.
I know that on the inside, but making it "work" in my energy level...well, I'm not sure how.
Coffee
The lack of sugar isn't bothering me nearly as much as the absence of coffee.
What's it's hold on me?
Why do I like it and need it so much?
It's cozy and tasty.
It accompanies my study of God's Word nearly every day.
It's a friend.
Yet the caffeine has become necessary for my alertness.
Necessary in the morning, necessary through the hours of work, and once in awhile necessary late afternoon to get me through homework with the kids.
Let me clarify, I have only been drinking 2-4 cups a day...but it's the word necessary that has me a bit enslaved to it.
I thought about just giving up caffeinated coffee...so I could still have the taste. I thought about just drinking tea for this month. But because my diet has already transformed so much, coffee and sugar (which means honey and syrup...they're the only forms I really eat anymore) would be the greatest sacrifice. And the mere fact that I wanted to figure out what else I could have to be tasty and cozy showed that I was having difficulty with "releasing" and "allowing" God to fill those desires.
Prayer for the Fast
So my prayer for the fast is as follows:
-Alive/awake/alert/enthusiastic. The way I should respond to life with the Holy Spirit and God's plan....mind you, without coffee. This could be a minor miracle in the making. Don't want to NEED the coffee.
-Guidance with our kids. Isaac's school plan, patience/kindness/understanding/deep love for all the kids, lack of annoyance (oh, that would be great).
-Holy Spirit, move in me not just when I'm studying, but when I'm living. Awaken me!
