Fog
It's foggy on the outside.
Fog delays have gifted us with extra sleep two days in a row.
Fog today as well, but no delay.
Driving in the fog today, it became clear that this is what I'm experiencing...FOG.
Fast
I began a fast right before the fog.
No coffee (only water) or sugar of any kind for this month.
Now I'm foggy on the inside as well.
Headaches, trouble staying awake, a little edgy, scattered, whole body aches, not alive and well.
Yet, I should be!
I am alive and well in Christ.
I know that on the inside, but making it "work" in my energy level...well, I'm not sure how.
Coffee
The lack of sugar isn't bothering me nearly as much as the absence of coffee.
What's it's hold on me?
Why do I like it and need it so much?
It's cozy and tasty.
It accompanies my study of God's Word nearly every day.
It's a friend.
Yet the caffeine has become necessary for my alertness.
Necessary in the morning, necessary through the hours of work, and once in awhile necessary late afternoon to get me through homework with the kids.
Let me clarify, I have only been drinking 2-4 cups a day...but it's the word necessary that has me a bit enslaved to it.
I thought about just giving up caffeinated coffee...so I could still have the taste. I thought about just drinking tea for this month. But because my diet has already transformed so much, coffee and sugar (which means honey and syrup...they're the only forms I really eat anymore) would be the greatest sacrifice. And the mere fact that I wanted to figure out what else I could have to be tasty and cozy showed that I was having difficulty with "releasing" and "allowing" God to fill those desires.
Prayer for the Fast
So my prayer for the fast is as follows:
-Alive/awake/alert/enthusiastic. The way I should respond to life with the Holy Spirit and God's plan....mind you, without coffee. This could be a minor miracle in the making. Don't want to NEED the coffee.
-Guidance with our kids. Isaac's school plan, patience/kindness/understanding/deep love for all the kids, lack of annoyance (oh, that would be great).
-Holy Spirit, move in me not just when I'm studying, but when I'm living. Awaken me!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Spilling Sugar
Spilling Sugar
This morning I read and studied a verse in Psalm. I LOVE how the Holy Spirit can take part of one verse, dissect it in my mind, bring to mind a song, then make a heart's prayer for the day...that then comes to life in the literal...
Psalm 68:9b "you refreshed your weary inheritance"
refreshed = filled up
weary = tired (and oh how I was at 6 in the morning...and it's not better at night either...after hours of homework with kids)
inheritance = children
As I probably say in any blog I post, I feel like I have little or no memory. That's why it's an act of God that I can read this
...then think of "spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me...melt me, mold me, fill me, use me"
...then think of "my cup runneth over" (Psalm 23 in KJV...because I was that little when I learned it)
...then pray "God, fill me with all I need for this day...and fill me so full that your love runneth over. Make me spill for you today."
On with the day I went. Tired during Bible study, but filled up and ready to take on what was ahead.
My prayer became literal...
...coffee usually necessary during work
...grabbed a cup and decided to pour a tiny bit of sugar into my coffee (even though I haven't been eating sugar)
...lid is unscrewed and a significantly more than tiny amount spilled out
...took a sip...tastes like syrup...yummy syrup flavored with a bit of coffee...would be such a waste to pitch it
...get high on sugar and coffee...the shakes possibly not worth it...and the mere fact that I could have danced on the ceiling at any moment (not a good thing for orientation...welcoming adult students to the Learn More Center on their first day...would be a bit scary)
...all worth what God said to me in it all
I AM FILLING YOU WITH SUGAR...SWEETNESS...KINDNESS. LET IT SPILL!
This morning I read and studied a verse in Psalm. I LOVE how the Holy Spirit can take part of one verse, dissect it in my mind, bring to mind a song, then make a heart's prayer for the day...that then comes to life in the literal...
Psalm 68:9b "you refreshed your weary inheritance"
refreshed = filled up
weary = tired (and oh how I was at 6 in the morning...and it's not better at night either...after hours of homework with kids)
inheritance = children
As I probably say in any blog I post, I feel like I have little or no memory. That's why it's an act of God that I can read this
...then think of "spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me...melt me, mold me, fill me, use me"
...then think of "my cup runneth over" (Psalm 23 in KJV...because I was that little when I learned it)
...then pray "God, fill me with all I need for this day...and fill me so full that your love runneth over. Make me spill for you today."
On with the day I went. Tired during Bible study, but filled up and ready to take on what was ahead.
My prayer became literal...
...coffee usually necessary during work
...grabbed a cup and decided to pour a tiny bit of sugar into my coffee (even though I haven't been eating sugar)
...lid is unscrewed and a significantly more than tiny amount spilled out
...took a sip...tastes like syrup...yummy syrup flavored with a bit of coffee...would be such a waste to pitch it
...get high on sugar and coffee...the shakes possibly not worth it...and the mere fact that I could have danced on the ceiling at any moment (not a good thing for orientation...welcoming adult students to the Learn More Center on their first day...would be a bit scary)
...all worth what God said to me in it all
I AM FILLING YOU WITH SUGAR...SWEETNESS...KINDNESS. LET IT SPILL!
Remember Your Baptism
Remember Your Baptism
I read a post today with that title. Reading a plethora of posts today. Never done that before. Feeling encouraged, inspired, moved, and convicted.
Encouraged at the similarly difficult stories of adoption, the angst of why there is suffering in the world, etc. Doesn't sound encouraging, but it is...to see how others process through these things...to see we're not alone in the wondering and wandering.
Inspired at lives that are changed, how God heals, how God loves, and that He offers it to everyone He has wonderfully created.
Moved to actually write something...because I only get to it every once in a GREAT while. How wonderful the written word is. It helps us remember. Have been enlightened recently in Jen Hatmaker's Bible study book that God wants us to write...that's evident in the writing of the Bible. He could have miraculously written the Bible on stone tablets, as He did the 10 Commandments, but He didn't. He chose the messy lives of people and their God-inspired written words to speak to us. We know and remember and can live accordingly because they wrote.
Convicted to remember my baptism. Oh, how my memory seems to be quickly failing. But it's NOT. I have memory. I just don't take the time to jog it. Literal jogging really hurts my knees....maybe I'm afraid that mental jogging will hurt my head...that I'll have to try to hard and end up with a piercing headache (hate those!). But as I let my mind go there, asking the Holy Spirit to remind me, I remember what I was wearing...dark brown polyester pants and a brown plaidish button-down shirt. I believe it was all under a white robe, but don't actually remember that for sure. I remember going to my knees in the water, kneeling on something that wasn't supposed to be there (piece of tree stump wood or something), going under "in the name of the Father" and losing my balance...trying to swim so that I didn't go under for the wrong reason...losing my balance (maybe I wasn't really thinking all that then...but it sounds good)...probably swimming out of sheer survival to save my life. The day was COLD. The water in the Eel River behind the German Baptist Church in N. Manchester was COLD. I remember Aunt Rosie being there afterward and giving me a Precious Moments book. I remember studying the Fruit of the Spirit with Pastor Archie Nevens before I ever got baptized. Appreciate the discipleship. So, I'm not sure that I remember much that's significant. I DO remember the moment I asked Jesus into my heart, declaring that I was a sinner in need of a Savior and I was ready to love Him deeper and live for Him. Camp Shipshewana, summer between 2nd and 3rd grade, sitting on my counselor's bed (Joni Robinson) in a circle with other wee girls. I'm sure it was a Thurs. night because that was "Salvation Night" back then...a compelling testimony at campfire and the movement of the Holy Spirit within the listeners. Truly, even though the night was "planned", the Holy Spirit showed up. I was captured by God's grace, movement, and love. Have been captured ever since. My baptism was the public display of that capture and commitment. I don't remember losing my breath that day (although I'm sure I did literally from the chill of the day) but I nearly lose my breath now, amazed that God got me at a young age, grateful for a journey with Him ever since, and awed by the ways He reminds me that I'm baptized...or IN HIM. Following are meaningful parts of the post I read this morning...just beautiful!
"I could not remember the bursting forth from the water, gasping for air, as I was raised to walk with newness of life, the grand moment of mirrored resurrection.
Remember your baptism. I couldn’t.
But then, I still don’t, of course, even though I am twice-dunked. I forget my baptism all the time, when I extend selfishness instead of the gift of presence, when I turn a sharp word against my neighbor instead of a loving gesture (or worse), when I deny Christ before even the first rooster-crow, when I am convinced that death will overtake me and will triumph over everything else, too.
I (along with others) wonder if remember your baptism is more about remembering you are baptized, than recalling the sprinkling on your head or your white robe sticking to your swimsuit. Maybe we must undergo conversion, baptism, resurrection every day. Every. Day. We must remind ourselves what it means to live as a baptized person. There may be no priest or pastor or river or swimming pool or font, and on mornings when I’m running late for the bus, there might not even be water.
But we are undone and remade, again and again, small and slow–without the satisfaction of grandeur." by Antonia Terrazas
I read a post today with that title. Reading a plethora of posts today. Never done that before. Feeling encouraged, inspired, moved, and convicted.
Encouraged at the similarly difficult stories of adoption, the angst of why there is suffering in the world, etc. Doesn't sound encouraging, but it is...to see how others process through these things...to see we're not alone in the wondering and wandering.
Inspired at lives that are changed, how God heals, how God loves, and that He offers it to everyone He has wonderfully created.
Moved to actually write something...because I only get to it every once in a GREAT while. How wonderful the written word is. It helps us remember. Have been enlightened recently in Jen Hatmaker's Bible study book that God wants us to write...that's evident in the writing of the Bible. He could have miraculously written the Bible on stone tablets, as He did the 10 Commandments, but He didn't. He chose the messy lives of people and their God-inspired written words to speak to us. We know and remember and can live accordingly because they wrote.
Convicted to remember my baptism. Oh, how my memory seems to be quickly failing. But it's NOT. I have memory. I just don't take the time to jog it. Literal jogging really hurts my knees....maybe I'm afraid that mental jogging will hurt my head...that I'll have to try to hard and end up with a piercing headache (hate those!). But as I let my mind go there, asking the Holy Spirit to remind me, I remember what I was wearing...dark brown polyester pants and a brown plaidish button-down shirt. I believe it was all under a white robe, but don't actually remember that for sure. I remember going to my knees in the water, kneeling on something that wasn't supposed to be there (piece of tree stump wood or something), going under "in the name of the Father" and losing my balance...trying to swim so that I didn't go under for the wrong reason...losing my balance (maybe I wasn't really thinking all that then...but it sounds good)...probably swimming out of sheer survival to save my life. The day was COLD. The water in the Eel River behind the German Baptist Church in N. Manchester was COLD. I remember Aunt Rosie being there afterward and giving me a Precious Moments book. I remember studying the Fruit of the Spirit with Pastor Archie Nevens before I ever got baptized. Appreciate the discipleship. So, I'm not sure that I remember much that's significant. I DO remember the moment I asked Jesus into my heart, declaring that I was a sinner in need of a Savior and I was ready to love Him deeper and live for Him. Camp Shipshewana, summer between 2nd and 3rd grade, sitting on my counselor's bed (Joni Robinson) in a circle with other wee girls. I'm sure it was a Thurs. night because that was "Salvation Night" back then...a compelling testimony at campfire and the movement of the Holy Spirit within the listeners. Truly, even though the night was "planned", the Holy Spirit showed up. I was captured by God's grace, movement, and love. Have been captured ever since. My baptism was the public display of that capture and commitment. I don't remember losing my breath that day (although I'm sure I did literally from the chill of the day) but I nearly lose my breath now, amazed that God got me at a young age, grateful for a journey with Him ever since, and awed by the ways He reminds me that I'm baptized...or IN HIM. Following are meaningful parts of the post I read this morning...just beautiful!
"I could not remember the bursting forth from the water, gasping for air, as I was raised to walk with newness of life, the grand moment of mirrored resurrection.
Remember your baptism. I couldn’t.
But then, I still don’t, of course, even though I am twice-dunked. I forget my baptism all the time, when I extend selfishness instead of the gift of presence, when I turn a sharp word against my neighbor instead of a loving gesture (or worse), when I deny Christ before even the first rooster-crow, when I am convinced that death will overtake me and will triumph over everything else, too.
I (along with others) wonder if remember your baptism is more about remembering you are baptized, than recalling the sprinkling on your head or your white robe sticking to your swimsuit. Maybe we must undergo conversion, baptism, resurrection every day. Every. Day. We must remind ourselves what it means to live as a baptized person. There may be no priest or pastor or river or swimming pool or font, and on mornings when I’m running late for the bus, there might not even be water.
But we are undone and remade, again and again, small and slow–without the satisfaction of grandeur." by Antonia Terrazas
Friday, May 17, 2013
WARNING
WARNING TO SELF and to those who hold me close:
Today I had a conversation with God and told Him I am Ready and Willing:
-willing to be uncomfortable
-willing to be messed up
-willing to change
-willing to give so that I can be filled up with Him
-willing for change
-willing to be ALIVE in Him as I trust Him through whatever this journey may be
-willing to grow
-willing to be uncomfortable
This is NOT an easy prayer...
-when my minds wanders to all the "what if's"
-what if God chooses to teach me through this scenario and that scenario
...I refuse to list these b/c they are out of fear!
This IS an easy prayer...
-when I reflect on how complacency is boring and no one benefits from it
-when I reflect on how ALIVE I have felt in some of my most unselfish and obedient decisions
-when I reflect on paths untaken that lead to righteousness...not self-righteousness
-when I reflect on how I want my every move, word, thought to be reflective of Him
-when I reflect on the hurt in the world...the world around me and the world far away from me
...and realize I have so much more to give than I am presently
-when I reflect on what kind of legacy I want to leave...one that was LIKE HIM
I have no idea what God is preparing me for...but I'm Ready and Willing!
Today I had a conversation with God and told Him I am Ready and Willing:
-willing to be uncomfortable
-willing to be messed up
-willing to change
-willing to give so that I can be filled up with Him
-willing for change
-willing to be ALIVE in Him as I trust Him through whatever this journey may be
-willing to grow
-willing to be uncomfortable
This is NOT an easy prayer...
-when my minds wanders to all the "what if's"
-what if God chooses to teach me through this scenario and that scenario
...I refuse to list these b/c they are out of fear!
This IS an easy prayer...
-when I reflect on how complacency is boring and no one benefits from it
-when I reflect on how ALIVE I have felt in some of my most unselfish and obedient decisions
-when I reflect on paths untaken that lead to righteousness...not self-righteousness
-when I reflect on how I want my every move, word, thought to be reflective of Him
-when I reflect on the hurt in the world...the world around me and the world far away from me
...and realize I have so much more to give than I am presently
-when I reflect on what kind of legacy I want to leave...one that was LIKE HIM
I have no idea what God is preparing me for...but I'm Ready and Willing!
Simplicity
SIMPLICITY
It never fails to amaze me how when God is trying to teach me something, He presents that lesson in various avenues of my life all simultaneously.
I'm reading two books right now....yes, STOP THE PRESS, I'm actually reading! They are 7 and When Helping Hurts. Thanks to a lovely spot under a towering tree with green all around me (mostly from overgrown weeds that I think are beautiful just because they're green) and the babbling creek below (which has been known to have snakes) and the birds singing and chirping (yelping for all I know)...again I love every sight and sound of nature...I have come to love reading during my moments of quiet...and God has provided quite a few this wonderful week.
Anyway, in very brief and crude terms, I'm trying to learn how to best help those in poverty (and praying for new passion and purpose for my job) while considering going through the process of 7 to simplify my own life...to make myself uncomfortable enough to rely on and hear more from God. That's what it takes, right? Emptying myself of something that has a grip so that I get a grip and grip better to Him?!
That is what I'm doing in my quiet time.
In my chaos time,
my time at work,
when I run from one student to the next,
testing and sharing results,
trying to decipher what each student needs and how I can meet that need,
I ended the day with a student we'll call "Roy",
and he needed help with essay writing as the GED quickly approaches,
so I gave him a quick topic..."what causes stress in society today?",
and he wrote about it so that I could assess his writing,
and give advice for how he could improve...
(take breath here....do you think the above was a run-on? well, I don't, so that's all that matters : )
I hurried through reading and correcting and explaining and then slowed down to hear him and his heart. You see, Roy is not a materially wealthy person (at least from a bystander's point-of-view). He walks an hour to class and enjoys the walk on nice-weathered days. Sometimes he gets picked up by friends and he enjoys the conversations he has on the way. He patiently waits for someone to pick him up after class and take him to work or home. He used to have very long hair, eyebrows, mustache and beard (and let me tell you, they were all four LONG). He recently got them all trimmed...it's fun to see a little more of his face. He's one of the most gentle, laid-back spirits I've met in my time teaching adults. But he isn't lazy. He works hard...at his job and at school. Here's what struck me from our conversation though...
Would you believe that he said, "I had to make this essay up because I don't have stress in my life!"
Now that's an odd and unheard statement from an American!
But I believe it's true for him.
He doesn't let anyone or anything get to him. He figures that if it'll cause stress, he should just leave it alone.
So what he chose to "guess" causes stress, and even made up a story about a "friend" who experienced it this way, was money and looks. People spend all their time wanting things, having to make the money to have those things, wanting to look GOOD, and having to make money to look GOOD, and they end up stressed. He would have liked for the essay to be about that long. He could have said it all in a sentence. But I wouldn't let him, poor guy!
What did I take from that? Exactly what I had read about in both books the day before. Does Roy need a monetary gift from me, or even a car if I had an extra one to spare? Sure, he could probably use both, but that is not how I could best help him. I am trying to help him get a GED so that he can become an engineer and help his co-workers and himself come up with better strategies for the things they already do...that's his dream anyway. That seems like better help than anything. Roy happens to be an easy person to work with so my next point is moot, with him, but still a point. The chapter I had just read said there are three ways to help those in "poverty" and they are relief work (emergency...the bandaid), rehabilitation (restoration...after the bleeding has stopped), and development (working WITH the people, not to people or for people). By the way, I got that explanation from pages 99-100, which are possibly the best pages of When Helping Hurts! It's way easier for the church (and middle-to-upper-class people in general) to do the relief work...the changeover of money from the bank to an organization or person needing relief or the temporary trip to do physical labor after a monstrosity...but the WITH the people is long and dirty and let's face it, HARD.
I'm so very grateful that God has placed me in a job where I GET to walk WITH people. It's not easy because I bring my crud and they bring their crud and then we try to set all the crud aside to work toward what may change the crud in the future if we just learn this "thing"...
(okay, I clearly used the word crud too many times, but I made a wonderful point!)
so their "thing" is usually something to do with math or language or science or social studies
and my "thing" is usually
how to not judge
or how to love better
or how to rely on God more
or how to encourage someone who just isn't getting it
or how to be thankful for what I do understand
or how to apply what I'm seeing with this student to my kids
or how to live differently
Get the picture? I'm learning a lot! Maybe I'm really the student. A student under the best teacher ever...God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit...who speaks through books and nature and my students. I'm excited to see where this lesson goes...
BECAUSE IT'S JUST BEGUN!
*the hope and dream and goal is that I actually come back to this site with my "notes from the lesson"
It never fails to amaze me how when God is trying to teach me something, He presents that lesson in various avenues of my life all simultaneously.
I'm reading two books right now....yes, STOP THE PRESS, I'm actually reading! They are 7 and When Helping Hurts. Thanks to a lovely spot under a towering tree with green all around me (mostly from overgrown weeds that I think are beautiful just because they're green) and the babbling creek below (which has been known to have snakes) and the birds singing and chirping (yelping for all I know)...again I love every sight and sound of nature...I have come to love reading during my moments of quiet...and God has provided quite a few this wonderful week.
Anyway, in very brief and crude terms, I'm trying to learn how to best help those in poverty (and praying for new passion and purpose for my job) while considering going through the process of 7 to simplify my own life...to make myself uncomfortable enough to rely on and hear more from God. That's what it takes, right? Emptying myself of something that has a grip so that I get a grip and grip better to Him?!
That is what I'm doing in my quiet time.
In my chaos time,
my time at work,
when I run from one student to the next,
testing and sharing results,
trying to decipher what each student needs and how I can meet that need,
I ended the day with a student we'll call "Roy",
and he needed help with essay writing as the GED quickly approaches,
so I gave him a quick topic..."what causes stress in society today?",
and he wrote about it so that I could assess his writing,
and give advice for how he could improve...
(take breath here....do you think the above was a run-on? well, I don't, so that's all that matters : )
I hurried through reading and correcting and explaining and then slowed down to hear him and his heart. You see, Roy is not a materially wealthy person (at least from a bystander's point-of-view). He walks an hour to class and enjoys the walk on nice-weathered days. Sometimes he gets picked up by friends and he enjoys the conversations he has on the way. He patiently waits for someone to pick him up after class and take him to work or home. He used to have very long hair, eyebrows, mustache and beard (and let me tell you, they were all four LONG). He recently got them all trimmed...it's fun to see a little more of his face. He's one of the most gentle, laid-back spirits I've met in my time teaching adults. But he isn't lazy. He works hard...at his job and at school. Here's what struck me from our conversation though...
Would you believe that he said, "I had to make this essay up because I don't have stress in my life!"
Now that's an odd and unheard statement from an American!
But I believe it's true for him.
He doesn't let anyone or anything get to him. He figures that if it'll cause stress, he should just leave it alone.
So what he chose to "guess" causes stress, and even made up a story about a "friend" who experienced it this way, was money and looks. People spend all their time wanting things, having to make the money to have those things, wanting to look GOOD, and having to make money to look GOOD, and they end up stressed. He would have liked for the essay to be about that long. He could have said it all in a sentence. But I wouldn't let him, poor guy!
What did I take from that? Exactly what I had read about in both books the day before. Does Roy need a monetary gift from me, or even a car if I had an extra one to spare? Sure, he could probably use both, but that is not how I could best help him. I am trying to help him get a GED so that he can become an engineer and help his co-workers and himself come up with better strategies for the things they already do...that's his dream anyway. That seems like better help than anything. Roy happens to be an easy person to work with so my next point is moot, with him, but still a point. The chapter I had just read said there are three ways to help those in "poverty" and they are relief work (emergency...the bandaid), rehabilitation (restoration...after the bleeding has stopped), and development (working WITH the people, not to people or for people). By the way, I got that explanation from pages 99-100, which are possibly the best pages of When Helping Hurts! It's way easier for the church (and middle-to-upper-class people in general) to do the relief work...the changeover of money from the bank to an organization or person needing relief or the temporary trip to do physical labor after a monstrosity...but the WITH the people is long and dirty and let's face it, HARD.
I'm so very grateful that God has placed me in a job where I GET to walk WITH people. It's not easy because I bring my crud and they bring their crud and then we try to set all the crud aside to work toward what may change the crud in the future if we just learn this "thing"...
(okay, I clearly used the word crud too many times, but I made a wonderful point!)
so their "thing" is usually something to do with math or language or science or social studies
and my "thing" is usually
how to not judge
or how to love better
or how to rely on God more
or how to encourage someone who just isn't getting it
or how to be thankful for what I do understand
or how to apply what I'm seeing with this student to my kids
or how to live differently
Get the picture? I'm learning a lot! Maybe I'm really the student. A student under the best teacher ever...God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit...who speaks through books and nature and my students. I'm excited to see where this lesson goes...
BECAUSE IT'S JUST BEGUN!
*the hope and dream and goal is that I actually come back to this site with my "notes from the lesson"
Friday, February 22, 2013
Regurgitating Vomit
Regurgitating Vomit
Our youngest daughter has been sent home once a week for vomiting at school the past few weeks...and she would have today if school hadn't been cancelled. We don't know why this weekly event has occurred, other than maybe she gets a "bug" that comes on suddenly...a lot of sickness going around the community lately.
Today's experience tops it all. I had asked her to try one bite of toast, thinking maybe her upset tummy was a result of hunger. Although she didn't want to, she did so out of sweet obedience. Upon seeing that she really didn't look great, I reneged on her having to eat any more and asked her to go sit on the kitchen floor for a minute while I ran upstairs to locate sheets to cover what would become the "sick couch" for the day. When I returned with the sheets, she had already "lost her toast"...or so I thought...on the floor. I cleaned up the mess, wiped off her face, and then watched her begin chewing. "It's the bite of toast you asked me to eat," she replied to my asking her what could possibly be in her mouth after throwing up all over the floor.
I laughed and exclaimed, "Wow, that's pretty amazing. You savored that piece of toast and ate it after flavored with vomit." Since "savor" is my word for Lent this year, I had to laugh. Definitely not the kind of savoring I had in mind.
Isn't that life though? Don't we hang on to stuff we shouldn't, let it get "tastier" and swallow it back down...only for it to come up again? Hurt, bitterness, hate, resent, dissatisfaction, etc. Sin has a way of doing that...bringing itself back up in one ugly form or another.
So my lesson for today is to not follow the example of my daughter. Following her sweet obedience is good. But I should choose not to hold on to bits of sin...to savor sin...and swallow it to be saved for later. Sin needs to be purged from our lives...once and for all!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Savoring the Savior
I hadn't grown up observing Lent.
Can't say I really even knew much about it.
Upon becoming an adult, God had been prompting my heart for several years to consider the spiritual discipline of fasting.
It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of the headaches I may incur due to not eating.
Then two years ago I discovered the Daniel fast.
It was a true sacrifice, but well worth it.
And it happened to be during the time of Lent.
Now each year I WANT go observe Lent...at least give up something in order to remember Jesus' sacrifice.
But each year I have trouble deciding what to give up. While the Daniel fast was amazing, it was difficult to prepare and eat entirely different from my family.
This year I decided on desserts. At first it seemed like the "easy...everyone chooses it" choice.
Yet, while it doesn't change how I cook, it'll certainly be a sacrifice. I LOVE my sweets!
Not equivalent, in any measure, to the sacrifice of my Christ.
But it is a way of remembering, of being thankful, of savoring something different.
Savor...that's my word for this Lent.
I chose to read Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. I wasn't even thinking about the connection to how I savor desserts until I began the introduction. It's perfect. I know what it is to SAVOR my coffee and sweets...in the morning...in the afternoon...in the evening...it doesn't matter. And it often serves as some kind of reward...reward for what?
I don't know....maybe just waking up, or making it through the day. Sounds ridiculous!
At least I've learned how to savor.
This Lent is about savoring the right thing...my Savior!
Chapter 1: Lord, reorder my disordered life. Make me see you with spiritual eyes and savor your glory. May my pleasures and affections be only on you...and may I give you glory and gratitude for all good things because you are the giver of all good things.
"We are all starved for the glory of God, not self. No one goes to the Grand Canyon to increase self-esteem. Shy do we go? Because there is greater healing for the soul in beholding splendor than there is in beholding self. Indeed, what could be more ludicrous in a vast and glorious universe like this than a human being, on the speck called earth, standing in front of a mirror trying to find significance in his own self-image?" (pg. 15)... "Therefore, in the Gospel we see and savor 'the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ' (2 Corinthians 4:6). And this kind of "seeing" is the healing of our disordered lives. 'We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.' (2 Corinthians 3:18). (pg. 17)
Chapter 2: Lord, let not our sickness keep us from turning to you. Let not our weakness keep us from seeking your strength. Let not our joy be robbed even when there's little energy to even smile. May we be satisfied in you, and you alone.
Our household has been so sick this winter. This past weekend illness had 4 of us wiped out. It can be discouraging when the caretaker is ailing as well. This chapter had one line that I said to myself over and over..."Christ is glorious so that rich or poor, sick or sound, we might be satisfied in him." (pg 21)
Chapter 3: Jesus, thank you that you are the lion and the lamb. These contrasts don't contradict. You are perfection!
"We marvel at him because his uncompromising justice is tempered with mercy. His majesty is sweetened by meekness. In his equality with God he has a deep reverence for God. Though he is worthy of all good, he was patient to suffer evil. His sovereign dominion over the world was clothed with a spirit of obedience and submission. He baffled the proud scribes with his wisdom, but was simple enough to be loved by children. He could still the storm with a word, but would not strike the Samaritans with lightening or take himself down from the cross." (pg. 29-30)
UGH...as is so common, I did finish the fast and the book and it was so meaningful. However, finding the time to blog about the daily thoughts quickly ended.
Ultimately I enjoyed being reminded of all that Jesus was, is, and always will be. I would have never guessed that on this journey I would end up changing my diet completely...for Isaac's sake, but thanks to the beginnings of the fast, I was much more willing when the time came to try something new to help Isaac. We are now eating mostly meat, nuts, fruit, and vegetables (unfortunately in that order...how I wish I LOVED vegetables). It seems to be helping his health, and for that I am grateful. Don't feel too bad myself : ) After this change was made, I had to remind myself that while the "diet" became about Isaac, I still needed to savor Jesus. Still have the sign up on my cabinet. I don't want to forget!
Jesus, help me NOT forget!
Can't say I really even knew much about it.
Upon becoming an adult, God had been prompting my heart for several years to consider the spiritual discipline of fasting.
It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of the headaches I may incur due to not eating.
Then two years ago I discovered the Daniel fast.
It was a true sacrifice, but well worth it.
And it happened to be during the time of Lent.
Now each year I WANT go observe Lent...at least give up something in order to remember Jesus' sacrifice.
But each year I have trouble deciding what to give up. While the Daniel fast was amazing, it was difficult to prepare and eat entirely different from my family.
This year I decided on desserts. At first it seemed like the "easy...everyone chooses it" choice.
Yet, while it doesn't change how I cook, it'll certainly be a sacrifice. I LOVE my sweets!
Not equivalent, in any measure, to the sacrifice of my Christ.
But it is a way of remembering, of being thankful, of savoring something different.
Savor...that's my word for this Lent.
I chose to read Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. I wasn't even thinking about the connection to how I savor desserts until I began the introduction. It's perfect. I know what it is to SAVOR my coffee and sweets...in the morning...in the afternoon...in the evening...it doesn't matter. And it often serves as some kind of reward...reward for what?
I don't know....maybe just waking up, or making it through the day. Sounds ridiculous!
At least I've learned how to savor.
This Lent is about savoring the right thing...my Savior!
Chapter 1: Lord, reorder my disordered life. Make me see you with spiritual eyes and savor your glory. May my pleasures and affections be only on you...and may I give you glory and gratitude for all good things because you are the giver of all good things.
"We are all starved for the glory of God, not self. No one goes to the Grand Canyon to increase self-esteem. Shy do we go? Because there is greater healing for the soul in beholding splendor than there is in beholding self. Indeed, what could be more ludicrous in a vast and glorious universe like this than a human being, on the speck called earth, standing in front of a mirror trying to find significance in his own self-image?" (pg. 15)... "Therefore, in the Gospel we see and savor 'the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ' (2 Corinthians 4:6). And this kind of "seeing" is the healing of our disordered lives. 'We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.' (2 Corinthians 3:18). (pg. 17)
Chapter 2: Lord, let not our sickness keep us from turning to you. Let not our weakness keep us from seeking your strength. Let not our joy be robbed even when there's little energy to even smile. May we be satisfied in you, and you alone.
Our household has been so sick this winter. This past weekend illness had 4 of us wiped out. It can be discouraging when the caretaker is ailing as well. This chapter had one line that I said to myself over and over..."Christ is glorious so that rich or poor, sick or sound, we might be satisfied in him." (pg 21)
Chapter 3: Jesus, thank you that you are the lion and the lamb. These contrasts don't contradict. You are perfection!
"We marvel at him because his uncompromising justice is tempered with mercy. His majesty is sweetened by meekness. In his equality with God he has a deep reverence for God. Though he is worthy of all good, he was patient to suffer evil. His sovereign dominion over the world was clothed with a spirit of obedience and submission. He baffled the proud scribes with his wisdom, but was simple enough to be loved by children. He could still the storm with a word, but would not strike the Samaritans with lightening or take himself down from the cross." (pg. 29-30)
UGH...as is so common, I did finish the fast and the book and it was so meaningful. However, finding the time to blog about the daily thoughts quickly ended.
Ultimately I enjoyed being reminded of all that Jesus was, is, and always will be. I would have never guessed that on this journey I would end up changing my diet completely...for Isaac's sake, but thanks to the beginnings of the fast, I was much more willing when the time came to try something new to help Isaac. We are now eating mostly meat, nuts, fruit, and vegetables (unfortunately in that order...how I wish I LOVED vegetables). It seems to be helping his health, and for that I am grateful. Don't feel too bad myself : ) After this change was made, I had to remind myself that while the "diet" became about Isaac, I still needed to savor Jesus. Still have the sign up on my cabinet. I don't want to forget!
Jesus, help me NOT forget!
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